I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
