Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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