those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
