the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize