That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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