you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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