Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
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i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
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Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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