So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
