He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize