once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
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Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
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I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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