I can text with my tongue
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
