This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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