oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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