So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
please don't ironically join a cult
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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