East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
