doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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