marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
she was so not down for the gang bang
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize