Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
