Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
too bad you live with your parents still
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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