I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
