So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
