question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
