Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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