a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
