ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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