Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
