I wanna passion pit in your ass
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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