What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
We need to rekindle our bromance
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
