just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
