i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
