She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Randomize
