god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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