Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
