You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize