The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize