May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The feeling are messing with the penis
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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