I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
