so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize