why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize