If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
