Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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