Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
