He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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