i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
