She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
