i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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