Me. At least after what I've been through.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
