Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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