I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
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