Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
