ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
