I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
