After last night, I could never be a politician.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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