The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
