We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
