its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize