That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
