why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
