she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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