Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
